Howard Falkinburg

My life was in turmoil the first few years after my accident in 2018. I was not in a good place mentally and physically. I didn’t know my place in the world after several years of identifying myself in a variety of roles. These included being a husband, a therapist, golfer, etc.

I have lived either in a rehabilitation hospital or a neuro rehabilitation facility for all but three months since my injury.

But even early on, I did not sit passively and waited for people to come to me. I was active in reaching out to people though I was limited mobility wise. I am blessed to have great friends and family. It would often come to visit me.

I started feeling well enough physically to branch out into the community. Not many of my friends or family could accommodate a power wheelchair into their homes. I was hesitant to meet people at restaurants because of my limitations to feed myself. I felt awkward asking people to help feed me, though most people are willing to help.

I began volunteering by making cold calls for family futures to educate parents of resources for their children behind and developmental milestones. This was done from the comfort of my room but it was a start.

Things picked up in 2025. I was out in the community more either meeting friends or doodling by myself. It is a bit of a crapshoot, especially being by myself. I have a supra pubic catheter that drains urine into a bag. There is also an ileostomy to deal with that dump smile human waste into a bag. Several things can go wrong but I take precautions before going out and during outings.

I make sure my bags are drained before leaving the facility. I will usually wear a night bag for my urine for outings lasting a few hours or more. I also make sure to vent my drainage bag for the ileostomy. It starts to balloon with gas and poop if not done properly. Unfortunately, I’m unable to tend to this myself.

I carry supplies in my backpack but I’m not going to ask some Joe Schmoe on the street for help if I have leakage! It is a bit of a crapshoot but a risk I take.

The next step of rebuilding a purposeful life was starting a book club with Amy Brannon-Edwards. I’m not sure if you can really call it a club with two people but it eventually built up to the current number of six (see a previous post about this).

The momentum continues in 2026. I volunteer with Emmanuel hospice by visiting a couple of guys that live in a nursing home across town. I do this three times a month.

I’m also volunteering with Disability Advocates and I’m in process of joining their Board of Directors.

And the biggest step has been seeking employment. I have updated my résumé and am in process of starting work at a counseling office. I would like to do both face-to-face and telehealth therapy. I’ll just start off with a handful of clients and build up from there.

There is also a possibility of moving out from my neuro residential program in into an apartment later this summer.

I’m almost dizzy with all these potential changes happening within a few months of each other. I’m both excited and a bit nervous.

I’m feeling more alive and looking forward to each day. This hasn’t always been the case for me. There was a long stretch where I felt like I was just existing.

Update:

The drainage bag attached to my gallbladder was removed a few weeks ago. It continued to drain, so we were instructed to treat it with silver nitrate and cauterized it. It seemed to do the trick. If it did not, I would’ve had to have a CAT scan done.