Life takes an 180° turn after a spinal cord injury. Among the biggest adjustments was the loss of independence and freedom to do my own thing. One moment I’m able to feed myself and do self care. The next moment I need somebody to perform digital stimulation on my rectum to help me poop. It was a humiliating experience the first few times I went through this.
My life is over, I thought. I half wanted my life to be over.
I desperately wanted my old life back. I wanted to walk and be able to feed myself again. I was grieving. I still am.
This journey of recovery has been an extremely humbling experience. A big step for me was accepting my situation for what it was. Neither good nor bad. Trying not to place labels or judgments to it. In my successful in doing this? Maybe 65% of the time. That’s better than where I started.
It is what it is.
I joke with my friend Amy yeah this is the most used statement in human history. So I try to avoid using it. But there it is (don’t hate on me Amy).
The severity of my paralysis makes it difficult to do 90% of what I used to do. I depend on care workers to help me do a lot of tasks. It wasn’t natural for me to ask for help. As a social worker, I’m used to being the helper. But learning to ask for help is a skill.
My interpersonal skills have always been good but they have improved since my injury. Interactions with direct care workers requires a lot of patience. There are times I want to start screaming. I tell myself that they are doing the best they can.
A role I inherited since the accident is a coach. I direct my care with residential staff and coach the new hires. Most of them are female college students. My psychologist educated me on the 20/16/20 roll. This means 10 to 20% of caretaking staff are natural caretakers who are tailor made for the job; 60% are raw but just need experience in order to become fully competent; and 10 to 20% have no business being in the healthcare field.
Caretakers do not get paid enough considering the importance of theIr work. I don’t say this because I am a recipient of their services now. Their work is hard and the ranks have been depleted since Covid. In general, healthcare has taken a big hit, which has led to staff burnout along with mental and physical ailments.
It’s fun bantering with most of the staff. I gave most of them nicknames. I offer up various thought-provoking questions to provoke discussions with most of them. We also talk about tastes in music, classes they are taking, shows being watched, etc. Hope hired a new batch of staff recently, two of which are males who are sports junkies like me.
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